Female Stress Diet travel bag

travel bag duffel bag trolley bag This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you copewith the stress that builds up during the day:BREAKFAST:1 grapefruit1 slice whole wheat toast1 cup skim milkLUNCHSmall portion lean, steamed chicken with acup of spinach1 cup herbal tea1 chocolate biscuitAFTERNOON TEAThe rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet 1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping1 jar nutellaDINNER4 bottles of red wine2 loaves garlic bread1 family size supreme pizzaLATE NIGHT SNACKWhole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eatendirectly from freezer)DIET RULES:1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in thechocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.3. When you eat with someone else, caloriesdon't count if you do not eat more than they do.4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)5. If you fatten up the people around you,you will look thinner.6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are partof the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits upcauses calorie leakage.8. Food licked from knives and spoons hasno fat if you are in the process of cooking something.9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcardand may be substituted for any other colour.11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravityand the density of calorie mass.12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as itrightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.And remember:STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS